Abaddon Books

The Rebellion Advent Calendar: Day Seventeen

3 years ago

On the seventeenth day of December, the year of our lord 2015, The Santa Wars takes a turn for the bizarre.

Rudolf, the rebel leader, charges the Claus compound with his most trusted reindeer lieutenants. A huge shadow looms over Santa’s home, and as they approach they see it is a Christmas cracker roughly the size of an articulated lorry.

Years of Yuletide conditioning kick in. The reindeer split into teams and heave on each end of the cracker, desperate to win the prize within, to tell the joke, to don what they can only assume must be a giant paper crown.

They pull, and they pull, and they pull...

And there is a mighty explosion. The reindeer are thrown clear of the compound, their attack thwarted. An enormous screwdriver set buries itself in the snow, missing Rudolf’s iconic red nose by millimetres.

A familiar sound booms out from the compound.

‘HO. HO. HO.’

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