The Bloody Deluge Journal of the Plague Year Uprising Under the Skin Among the Missing Satan's Reach
The Rebellion eBook Halloween sale now on - selected titles just £1.50


Abaddon Books is delighted to announce the summer 2015 publication of New York Times Bestseller Una McCormack and critically acclaimed author Eric Brown’s first collaboration.

McCormack and Brown are set to publish The Baba Yaga, a space-opera novel set in Abaddon BooksWeird Space series, for summer 2015. 

In the on-going Weird Space series it has been only a few years since humanity made peace with the fierce Vetch, drawing the lines between their vast, interstellar territories, and relations are still tense. But are the warlike aliens our greatest threat? The Weird – monstrous, bizarre entities from outside reality – are breaking into our universe, and the Expansion, the oppressive government of the human diaspora, will stop at nothing to protect itself…

Now in McCormack and Brown’s The Baba Yaga the growing threat of the Weird has driven the Expansion to paranoia and oppression. Mandatory testing for infection is introduced, and the colony Braun’s World – following reports of a new portal opening – is purged from orbit, at an unimaginable cost in lives.

Delia Walker, a senior analyst in the Expansions’s intelligence bureau, protests the new policies and is drummed out. Desperate for a sign of hope, she charters the decrepit freighter the Baba Yaga and heads into Satan’s Reach, following rumours of a world where humans and the Weird live peacefully side by side.

Hunted by the Bureau, Walker, her pilot Yershov, and Failt – a Vetch child stowaway, fleeing slavery – will uncover secrets about both the Weird and the Expansion; secrets that could prevent the seemingly inevitable war...

“Take a dash of Blake's 7, a hint of Serenity, stir in some classic science-fiction mystery adventure and then give it a good shake with a steady hand”
Starburst Magazine on The Devil’s Nebula

Exclusive cover reveal
When we asked Brown – creator of the world of Weird Space and author of the first novels in the series – who he’d most like to pass the baton on to, McCormack was top of the list. The Baba Yaga will be the third title in the series, and marks the end of one era and the start of another, with McCormack at the helm.

Una McCormack is a New York Times bestselling author of novels based on Star Trek and Doctor Who. Her audio plays based on Doctor Who and Blake's 7 have been produced by Big Finish, and her short fiction has been anthologised by Farah Mendlesohn, Ian  Whates, and Gardner Dozois. She has a doctorate in sociology and teaches creative writing at Anglia Ruskin University, Cambridge. She lives in Cambridge with her partner, Matthew, and their daughter, Verity.

“An eerie, sorrowful story”
– Bleeding Cool on McCormack’s Good Night, Sweet Ladies

Eric Brown is the award-winning author of a huge number of SF novels, such as Helix, Engineman, Necropath, and The Kings of Eternity, as well as many children’s books, radio plays, articles and reviews.

“Brown’s novel is serious fun, a modern SF spin on Rudyard Kipling and H Rider Haggard, with a resourceful heroine, enough derring-do to keep the pages turning, and some sincere points about imperialism.”
- The Financial Times on Brown’s Jani and the Greater Game

Available:
US: June 30th 2015 * 978 1 78108 364 2 * $7.99
UK: July 16th 2015 * 978 1 78108 363 5 * £7.99

Pumpkin Reveal!
28-10-2014
Hi All, 

So every year the Moore household carves several pumpkins, and as I've blogged before, I sometimes like to ask our readership for their thoughts and preferences as to suitably horrific or interesting designs. This year, I poked the Facebook and Twitter accounts asking for thoughts, and two came out that I was up for: Pumpkinstein's Monster, and Judge Pumpkin.


Of course, Judge Pumpkin has never taken off his gourd. Only the hint of a flicker shows the true candle underneath.



Pumpkinstein's Monster is quite sad. His existence is one of angst and suffering. He deserves your empathy...

Many thanks for your suggestions! I'll be sure and poke you next year...


“Plenty to write Holmes about… Holmes is like the Doctor – geeky, dangerous, supremely intelligent.” – SFX Magazine

"No one can deny the cleverness of this collection and as a casual fan, it has inspired me to read the original Doyle novels. 9/10" - The Cult Den

"It’s the sheer quality of this storytelling ability—by this handful of authors—that makes Two Hundred and Twenty-One Baker Streets a cut-above the rest" - Spec Fiction Hub 

"Two Hundred and Twenty-One Baker Streetsis a worthy addition to the ever-expanding universe of Arthur Conan Doyle’s creation." - Criminal Element

"Precise and neat yet immensely engaging, it’s a great example of the craft of short story telling" - The Book Beard

"This anthology is for any Sherlock Holmes fan; there’s something here for everyone, and the writing is just that damn good." - Ventureadlaxre

"Two Hundred And Twenty-One Baker Streets has a story for everyone. It’s full of brilliantly written tales that any fan of Sherlock can appreciate." - Readingbifrost

"Excellent book written from a new angle. A really great book that keeps you wanting to read on until the end. The modern day setting gives the book a more realistic storyline that will be popular with readers of all ages in contrast to the usual Victorian London background." - Catherine Bryce, netgalley

"With such a wide array of stories about Holmes in this anthology there truly is something for everyone. If you’re a fan of Sherlock Holmes then I highly recommend that you check out this anthology ASAP." - Bibliognome

"Great addition to my Holmes collection!" - Lauren Koller, netgalley

"LOVED this book. As a fan of Sherlock Holmes, I enjoyed seeing him and Dr. Watson in alternate scenarios... Recommended for all lovers of Holmes & Watson!" - Kelli Kohrherr, netgalley librarian

"The imaginative stories about Sherlock Holmes and his down-to-earth counterpart, Doctor Watson, make for compelling reading." - L. Wayne Hicks, netgalley

"The quality of the writing is universally excellent" - Tea, Talks, Books

"A good selection of stories... I definitely recommend it to Sherlock Holmes fans." - Take a walk on the writeside

"All-in-all a fine idea, well edited and presented." - something interesting this way comes

"Most of the stores I was sad to see end so quickly. I have read all of the original Holmes stores written by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle and I found these to be complimentary of those original works. 4/5" - John Purvis

"With such diversity, there will certainly be something here for everyone. And so, whether you are a traditionalist or more experimental when it comes to the Holmes canon, you should definitely give this anthology a try." - Nicki J Marcus

"Highly recommended to all Sherlock fans, looking for something different." - Mark Coulter, netgalley

"What a great collection of short stories. The diversity of characters and settings is fantastic. This is a great resource for studies of reversioning. It's also very entertaining." - Trish Lunt, netgalley educator

"If you like all (or most) things Sherlock, then you'll want to read this book." - Second Bookshelf on the Right


Two Hundred and Twenty-One Baker Streets is OUT NOW


 
Hi, Lydia.

Here you are.  The first two paragraphs are optional (by which I mean, not for publication). Obviously.

Best,
James

David Thomas Moore is quite clearly the greatest man who has ever lived and will ever live, a colossus who bestrides the world of publishing and every other world, showering those around him, those lucky enough to know him, with his genius.  His talent for just about everything exceeds that of the foremost experts in any field.  He also has a beard.

But enough about David Thomas Moore.  Here’s a blog piece about my tale for 221 Baker Streets.
[ED: Err not sure this was meant to be included Gittins - have you been at Guy Adams' drink cabinet again?]

***

I'm a fan of superheroes. 

Always have been.  

I was into superheroes long before it was fashionable,long before Marvel movies were raking in billions at the box office and everyone knew who Green Arrow was thanks to the hit TV show.  Since the early 1970s I've eagerly followed the exploits of comic book costumed folk with super powers.  I've stuck with them through the lean years, when even the people responsible for writing and drawing stories about them seemed to lose faith and be overwhelmed with a sense of futility and despair, and will continue to stick with them despite the fact they’re now ubiquitous and big business.

I've also always been a massive Sherlock Holmes fan.  My father read me the Conan Doyle stories when I was little, and the character and his world have stuck with me ever since.  Holmes is, I would argue, a superhero himself, a prototype of the caped adventurer who rights wrongs and fights for justice with a loyal sidekick forever accompanying him.  Holmes’s super power is his brain, his amazing ability to analyse, deduce and ratiocinate, his unerring eye for the small, telling detail which leads him to unlock mysteries and collar crooks.  Like many a superhero he is flawed, sometimes insufferable, his main Achilles heel being his boredom-driven manic depressive episodes and his penchant for pharmaceutical stimulants – but you can still be sure that, come what may, he is staunchly, resolutely on the side of the angels and will never succumb to his dark side.

When I was asked by David Moore to contribute to an anthology of short stories featuring Sherlock Holmes in various different settings and configurations, my immediate thought was to write something which involved super powers.  From there it was a short hop to imagining a world where everyone had a power of some sort, a preternatural attribute which they could utilise to varying degrees.  There could be people who were extraordinarily strong, people who could fly, people who could swim underwater…  The setting would be the Victorian era, exactly as we know it, with this one major twist.

And then I thought, what if Sherlock Holmes was someone who lacked any such power?  What if he was a rare anomaly, born vanilla, without the abilities which everyone else took for granted?  How would that change him?  Would it alter what he does?  Would he still be the world’s first and only consulting detective?

Of course he damn well would!

And so I wrote “The Innocent Icarus”.  It isn't my first Holmes outing, not by a long shot.  I have written two novels featuring the character (The Stuff Of Nightmares and Gods Of War) with a third (The Thinking Engine) due out in 2015.  I have also penned a short story, “The Fallen Financier”, which appeared in George Mann's Encounters Of Sherlock Holmes anthology, and I am starting work next year on a trilogy which pits Holmes against creatures from H.P. Lovecraft's Cthulhu Mythos.

“The Innocent Icarus” is, though, I think the sheerest fun I've had with a Holmes tale.  It’s a fusion of classic detective yarn and superhero fantasy, and thus reconciles my two earliest and most enduring literary passions in a single, unified whole.  

You could say it’s a story I've been waiting all my life to write.

***

James Lovegrove (jameslovegrove.com) was born on Christmas Eve 1965 and is the author of more than 40 books. His novels include The Hope, Days, Untied Kingdom, Provender Gleed, the New York Timesbestselling Pantheonseries—so far Age Of Ra, The Age Of Zeus, The Age Of Odin, Age Of Aztec, Age Of Voodoo and Age Of Shiva, plus a collection of three novellas, Age Of Godpunk—and Redlaw and Redlaw: Red Eye, the first two volumes in a trilogy about a policeman charged with protecting humans from vampires and vice versa. He has produced two Sherlock Holmes novels, The Stuff Of Nightmares and Gods Of War.

James has sold well over 40 short stories, the majority of them gathered in two collections, Imagined Slights and Diversifications. He has written a four-volume fantasy saga for teenagers, The Clouded World (under the pseudonym Jay Amory), and has produced a dozen short books for readers with 
reading difficulties, including Wings, Kill Swap, Free Runner, Dead Brigade, and the 5 Lords Of Painseries.

James has been shortlisted for numerous awards, including the Arthur C. Clarke Award, the John W. Campbell Memorial Award, the Bram Stoker Award, the British Fantasy Society Award and the Manchester Book Award. His short story ‘Carry The Moon In My Pocket’ won the 2011 Seiun Award in Japan for Best Translated Short Story.

James’s work has been translated into twelve languages. His journalism has appeared in periodicals as diverse as Literary Review, Interzone and BBC MindGames, and he is a regular reviewer of fiction for the Financial Times and contributes features and reviews about comic books to the magazine Comic Heroes.

He lives with his wife, two sons and cat in Eastbourne, a town famously genteel and favoured by the elderly, but in spite of that he isn't planning to retire just yet.

James Lovegrove is the author of The Innocent Icarus in the Two Hundred and Twenty-One Baker Streets anthology, out now from Abaddon Books!


Order: UK | US
What can I say about David Moore, that giant among men? He knows his way around a pub and a book launch, for certain. So much so that, after a launch sometime in the distant past at Forbidden Planet he, after a few pints, thought it would be big and clever to ask me to write a story “anywhere in time or space except Victorian London” about Holmes and Watson.

I’m a fan, and I was all excited and rushed home and told my partner, and then waited.

And waited.

And waited.

Mostly during the waiting I thought “I really shouldn’t have told anyone. David probably thought I was James Smythe - the other tall writer, but the one with talent and craft. It was surely not happening. He must’ve been drunk. Other sightings of Moore at London literary events showed no evidence of the anthology or his kind offer.

Until months and months time later when I got an email inquiring as to whether I’d any idea where and when. Publishing: It does not move at any sort of speed, not even that of molasses.
I had, indeed, thought about my setting for Holmes and Watson and I thought I’d look at something medieval, in the Inquisition, and see if I could get up an earlier, more rational Holmes, but I’d been listening to some old punk bands - New York Dolls and Patti Smith and the Talking Heads - and so I said “Maybe 70s New York, the birth of punk” as well.

David was happy with whatever I’d do but said he was more keen on the 70s punk thing.
As happens when you dig into the early days of punk, you keep bumping into Lou Reed, John Cale, and Mo Tucker. They’re everywhere, and they lead you back to the Factory.


The Factory is this critical time and place in American history. Whether you’re a fan of Warhol’s or not, this coming together of culture, of exploration and change that’s very, very different in New York compared to San Francisco and the Summer of Love or much of what’s thought of as the 60s - the American war in Viet Nam, race riots, and the first wave of feminism.

I tried to imagine who these characters would be - despite the action in the story, I don’t tend to be someone who builds relationships between the two - but in this particular time and place, with the experimentation and the drugs going around, I thought that it actually made serious sense.

Valerie Solanas is famous, of course for two things: the S.C.U.M. Manifesto and for shooting Andy Warhol. The manifesto is brilliant and witty and incisive - absolutely worth a read - as is Solanas’ play Up your ass that Andy refused to produce. The shooting is blamed on madness, but I thought that there had to be more to it, and thus, a mystery was born.

As we know, there’s only one person for a mystery: That’s Sherlock bloody Holmes. Erudite. Educated. Here part of the American upper classes that sound - almost - English. Having dropped out of his life and spending it in search of something different, something meaningful, something diverting.


The moral of this story, if there is one, is to make sure you spend as much time drinking pints with David Moore, that giant of men. 

***

Glen Mehn (glen.mehn.net) was born and raised in New Orleans, and has since lived in San rancisco, North Carolina, Oxford, Uganda, Zambia, and now lives in London. He’s previously been published by Random House Struik and Jurassic London, and is currently working on his first hopefully publishable novel. 

When not writing, Glen designs innovation programmes that use technology for social good for the Social Innovation Camp and is head of programme at Bethnal Green Ventures. Glen holds a BA in English Literature and Sociology from the University of New Orleans and an MBA from the niversity of Oxford.

Glen has been a bookseller, line cook, lighting and set designer, house painter, IT director, carbon finance consultant, soldier, dishwasher, and innovation programme designer. One day, he might be a writer. He lives in Brixton, which is where you live if you move from New Orleans to London. He moved country five times in two years once, and happy to stick around for a while.

Glen Mehn is the author of Half There/All There in the Two Hundred and Twenty-One Baker Streets anthology, out now from Abaddon Books!


Order: UK | US

I was encouraged to go to my first WorldCon this past year (September 2013) by prolific author L.E. Modesitt, Jr. We had a long discussion about the pros and cons of going, and Lee certainly made the pros sound far more exceptional than the cons.

So, because I’m a girl who’s definitely able to follow instructions (you know, when I wanna), and because Lee gave me quite a long list of benefits I could expect to reap by dint of attending and participating on panels and such, I headed off to San Antonio for what was a really wonderful convention experience.

It was the last day, and so far, everything Lee had said would happen had so happened, other than one thing: I hadn’t run into an editor and had them invite me into an anthology. Oh sure, Lee hadn’t said that this was a given, but he’d made the point that many times one only got invited into an anthology if one was right in front of an editor pulling said anthology together.

I was in the middle of the dealer room, chatting with Ellen Datlow, Carrie Vaughn, David Lee Summers, and a variety of attendees, when two tall men with British accents came up and started to talk to Ellen. As often happens when there are a lot of people around all talking to each other in a fluid group, people move off in and out of smaller groups, still there but talking amongst themselves. This happened here, leaving one of the Brits and me standing near each other and yet alone.

So, I introduced myself. “Hi, I’m Gini Koch, I’m an author.”
 “I’m David Moore,” he replied pleasantly. “I’m an editor.”
“Oh? What do you edit?”
“WELL, I’m working on an anthology of Sherlock Holmes stories.”

At this moment I began to geek out like David was One Direction and I was a preteen girl. “Oh my GOD, I am a GIGANTIC Holmes fan!”
David, whose expression had been normally pleasant until now, got incredibly animated. “Me, too! Which Holmes do you like?”
“All of them! I used to swear I was a purist, that I only wanted ‘real’ Holmes, but now I realize it was a lie – I love any and every Holmes there is.”
“ME TOO! My anthology is going to put Holmes and Watson any time, anywhere, and in any way.”

At this point, David and I were both geeking out at the same level, having our own private Holmesian convention – albeit a convention of two, but two really PASSIONATE attendees – while everyone else was still enjoying WorldCon. However, as excited as we were, I’m sure we weren’t jumping up and down. Okay, not much jumping. Okay, we probably were, but I don’t believe there’s photographic proof, so it didn’t happen.

We were sharing our thoughts on every Holmes we could think of. “Sherlock”, “Elementary”, the Robert Downey, Jr. steampunk versions? Check. Jeremy Brett as possibly the best screen Holmes ever? Check. The awesomeness of Lucy Liu as a female Watson? Yep. Older Holmes movies? Naturally. Obscure Holmes movies only David and I had ever heard of? Double check.
By this time, I was squealing, “I HAVE TO BE IN THIS ANTHOLOGY!” And David was saying, “YOU’RE IN!”

I gave him my card and then spent the next week terrified that I’d somehow given him someone else’s card.

But I had not. And the rest is history.

Or rather, the rest is my story, “All the Single Ladies”, with a Holmes and Watson I’m really proud of. David was a joy to work with, the book is chockfull of great stories from wonderful authors, the cover art is beyond beautiful, and I’m still excited every time I think about the whole experience.

By the way, the moral of this story? Do whatever L.E. Modesitt, Jr. tells you to do – apparently he’s never wrong. And the other moral? One can never, ever, have enough Holmes.

***

Gini Koch writes the fast, fresh and funny Alien/Katherine “Kitty” 
Katt series for DAW Books, the Necropolis Enforcement Files series, and the Martian Alliance Chronicles series for Musa Publishing. Alien in the House, Book 7 in her long-running Alien series, won the RT Book Reviews Reviewer’s Choice Award as the Best Futuristic Romance of 2013. Alien Collective, Book 9, released in May, and Universal Alien is coming this December. 

As G.J. Koch she writes the Alexander Outland series and she’s made the most of multiple personality disorder by writing under a variety of other pen names as well, including Anita Ensal, Jemma Chase, A.E. Stanton, and J.C. Koch. Currently, Gini has stories featured in the Unidentified Funny Objects 3, Clockwork Universe: Steampunk vs. Aliens, and Two Hundred and Twenty-One Baker Streets anthologies, and, writing as J.C. Koch, in Kaiju Rising: Age of Monsters, The Madness of Cthulhu, Vol. 1, and A Darke Phantastique anthologies. She will also have a story in the first book in an X-Files anthology series coming out in 2015. 

Gini can be reached via her website: www.ginikoch.com

Gina Koch is the author of All the single ladies in the Two Hundred and Twenty-One Baker Streets anthology out now from Abaddon Books!



Order UK | US


I’d never done a pastiche before. I’d read plenty of them, heard them discussed quite often, but it wasn’t something I had considered trying until David gave me the opportunity. I found it to be a more difficult type of writing than I had previously experienced. (Though everything has its own challenges)

 I felt a real responsibility to do it correctly, to honor the original characters and stories in a way that felt authentic. In the end, this may have added more pressure than was required. I realized early on there was no way I was going to capture the voice of the British Victorian era, so it was better to make it a present day experience using a character that was distantly related.

I suppose the idea to make it a patchwork killer came from my recent interest in knitting. I was working on a square, a knitting thing, and thought how fascinating it would be if someone had human skin rather than yarn. I actually didn’t focus on the mystery so much as the attempt to show the bond between the characters. Some people like this approach, some don’t. I always found that personally I cared less about the puzzle at hand and more about how the characters interact. Now, after having lived with those guys a little while, it seems like it might be fun to try again with another mystery.

***

Miss Jenkins took a bow, lingered as her head tipped downwards and her breasts fought to stay tucked into her burgundy corset. She moved offstage, but for the life of me I couldn’t see that her feet had even made contact. She moved like a crowd of men followed behind her. Most times, they did.

As the whistles and claps faded into the black behind her, she found herself at the lighted mirror where she had prepared only hours ago. She released the black clip which held a feather band to her head and shook loose her fire-red locks. Stuck in the corner of the mirror was a small white envelope. She peeled it open and smiled.

It was him again.

This time, though, something was different. He seemed more urgent, desperate to see her. He was going to have to wait. Men don’t want a woman who comes running every time they are called. He had a wife for that. This, this was something else. It meant more to him than it did her, but she didn’t mind. He was sweet and reliable and she got free botox out of the deal so it seemed like a win win.

Now changed and fresh faced, she shoved her stilettos into the bag flung over her shoulder and exited out the rear door into the alleyway as the door slammed shut behind her.

Tonight the crowd that waited for her out back was smaller than usual. Actually, it had been like that the last few times, but she couldn’t let that get her down.

“I still got it,” she said to herself as a sudden thud caught her attention.  

She could see the workers at the ice cream parlor down the way through the glass windows. Buzzing around, rushing to close up shop.

She signed a few autographs and posed for a few kissie-faced pictures as she walked to the parking lot that housed her new black Mustang convertible. She’d worked a long time to afford a car like that, and then just three weeks of being with him, she had it. All her own.

She stopped outside the vehicle under the street lamp which flickered above when she heard another loud noise. This time, she felt a sting in the back of her head.

She opened her eyes and the world spun. On the ground now, gravel embedded into the backs of her thighs she reached around to touch her head. It was wet, and the smell of dirty copperwas strong. There was so much blood.

The spinning began to lessen and through the beams of light she could make out a figure standing over her.

“You’re gonna be famous forever,” said the voice.

Jenkins let out a whimper, and then the world went black.

***


First published at the tender age of 8, Kasey Lansdale is the author of numerous short stories as well as editor to several anthology collections. Her most recent project, Impossible Monsters, was released from Subterranean Press summer of 2013. A full time singer/songwriter, she has also just completed her first novel. She is the daughter of acclaimed author, Joe R. Lansdale.

She is the author of The Patchwork Killer in the new Two Hundred and Twenty-One Baker Streets anthology, out now from Abaddon Books!


Order: UK | US



Originally aired 11th October 1962 on the BBC Light Programme.
Available on the double-CD box set A Little More Sherlock and John (BBC Music, 1997).

ANNOUNCER: This is the BBC Light Programme.

GRAMS: [HOLMES AND WATSON OPENING 1by Willy Scott]

ANNOUNCER: We present Sherlock Holmes and John Watson with Gordon Lestrade, Martha Hudson and Billy Page in

GRAMS: [HOLMES AND WATSON OPENING 2by Willy Scott]

HOLMES: The Adventure of the Wrong-Headed Blog.

EFFECTS: Establishing sounds. Baker Street buzzing with life, news boys holler, cart wheels clatter. We fade into the contemplative world of 221b, a grandfather clock ticks, a match is struck, pipe tobacco crackles.)

HOLMES: What do I say about David Moore, this giant among men?

WATSON: (STRAINED) You tell him to sit in another chair, the colonial colossus is crushing me to death.

MOORE: Sorry, didnt see you there.

(MOORE gets up. It sounds like the entire contents of a butchers shop being moved three feet to the left where it is dumped on another ungrateful armchair.)

HOLMES: There certainly is plenty of him. Wheres thewhat should we call him?

WATSON: Author?

HOLMES: Thats stretching things too far.

WATSON: Writer?

HOLMES: No. No. We mustnt devalue words. That would compound his crime.

WATSON: Hack?

HOLMES: Agreed, let us be gracious, he is, after all, a guest.

ADAMS: (MUFFLED) Im having the will to live squeezed out of me by my editor.

MOORE: Sorry, didnt see you there.

ADAMS: Its fine, it wasnt an entirely new experience.

(MOORE moves to another chair, it explodes in a huff of suicidal leather and oak.)

MOORE: Im not this massive in real life, why are you being so mean?

ADAMS: You suggested Holmesopening line, what else did you expect me to do? Pander to your ego?

MOORE: I think Lydia was just joking.

WATSON: (LIKE A STARVED DOG BEING SHOWN A MAP TO AN ELEPHANTS GRAVEYARD Lydia? Theres a woman here?

(There is the rushed sound of suit brushing, splashed cologne and plucked roses.)

HOLMES: Easy Watson, shes married.

WATSON: Not for long!

HOLMES: Shes the PR for the publisher. Shes the one who asked Adams to write this meandering nonsense.

WATSON: (IMMEDIATELY DEFLATED, HIS COLOGNE EVAPORATES) She works in publishing? (SIGHS) Never mind.

HOLMES: Indeed, shes taken up residence in the drinks cabinet and is likely no longer capable of coherent conversation.

(EFFECTS: HOLMES opens the drinks cabinet, there is the sound of raucous German Beer Hall dancing, he immediately slams the door shut again.)

HOLMES: A sight beyond words. I will never be able to enjoy walnuts again. Do pass me that padlock, WATSON, for all our sakes.

(EFFECTS: HOLMES chains up the drinks cabinet.)

HOLMES: So gentlemen, other than incarcerating your inebriated staff, what can we do for you?

MOORE: We were hoping youd help promote the new book Ive edited. Its called Two Hundred and Twenty One Baker Streets and its an anthology of Holmesian tales across time and space. A selection of stories offering an unusual take on the characters of Sherlock Holmes and John Watson.

WATSON: Two hundred and twenty one of them?

MOORE: Sorry?

WATSON: Two hundred and twenty one stories?

MOORE: Ermno. Theres fourteen actually. From people like Adrian

WATSON: Then it should be called Fourteen Baker Streets shouldnt it?

MOORE: Ha! (OFFERS THE SORT OF LAUGHTER PEOPLE EMPLOY WHEN THEYRE BUSILY TRYING NOT TO PUNCH PEOPLE). That doesnt sound quite as good.

WATSON: But it would have been more accurate.

MOORE: I dont think people would expect there to be that many stories.

WATSON:  Unless theyd read the title.

MOORE: Even then. As I say, we have writers like Adrian

WATSON: I suppose it would be bad for the wrist.

MOORE: Im sorry?

WATSON: A book containing two hundred and twenty one stories. Nobody wants to publish a book that makes readers wrists ache.

ADAMS: I dont know, Ive enjoyed a few in my time

HOLMES:  I fear were straying off the point a little.

WATSON: I suppose you could do two hundred and twenty one extremely short stories.

MOORE: Much better to do fourteen really good, satisfying stories, from people like Adrian

WATSON: Once upon a time there was a small duck called Sherlock Holmes and he lived on the river with his friend John Watson, an otter.

MOORE: There are no otters in our book.

WATSON: Dont blame me. One day Holmes the duck found the body of a dead moor hen. Curious!he quacked, someones killed this moor hen.

MOORE: Yeah, thats not really the sort of thing

WATSON: It was me Holmes!cried John Watson the naughty otter, I stabbed him with this sharpened reed.

MOORE: Not much of a mystery is it?

WATSON: Shows what you know. Its brilliant and intriguing. WHY did the otter kill the moor hen?

ADAMS: Because he really hated the pompous, quacking git?

WATSON: Perhaps the otter and the duck could plunge off a weir at the end.

MOORE: Why would they do that?

WATSON: Its worked before. Drama. Self sacrifice. The noble duck sacrificing himself to rid the world of this bastard of an otter.

(EFFECTS: A loud crashing sound. MOORE has left the room, taking most of a wall with him.)

HOLMES: If youre going to storm out, Mr Moore, might I ask that you stoop when you negotiate the doors?

(EFFECTS: A distant crash followed by the sound of screams and veering carriages as the behemoth MOORE attempts to navigate the street outside. Eventually the chaos subsides.)

HOLMES: What are we going to do with the sauced-up loon in our drinks cabinet? I was hoping he was going to take her with him.

WATSON: More to the point, why is this entire thing written like a particularly stupid radio programme?

ADAMS: Thats my fault Im afraid. In my story Holmes and Watson are actors, comedians who play the characters we know from Doyles original stories as part of a long-running radio comedy series.

WATSON: Absurd.

ADAMS: I know. Its actually a far more serious story than this old waffle would suggest but, you know, guest blogsalways hard to think of something to do.

(EFFECTS: The rattle of a chain as ADAMS unlocks the drinks cabinet.)

ADAMS: Ill be in here if anyone needs me.

(EFFECTS: A burst of German Beer Hall music stifled as ADAMS closes the door behind him.)

WATSON: A brave man. So what do we do now? This has gone on far too long as it is.

HOLMES: (RE-LIGHTING HIS PIPE) Tell me more about this naughty otter.

WATSON: Well! He is the Napoleon of River Based crime! He strikes fear into the hearts of badger and water boatman alike

(EFFECTS: We fade out on their conversation, moving outside to where the screaming continues as MOORE makes his slow way back to his Oxford office, muttering to himself about the perils of working with stupid authors.)

MUSIC: [HOLMES AND WATSON CLOSEby Willy Scott.]


***


Guy Adams(guyadamsauthor.com) has written far too many books. In recent years these have included: the Heaven’s Gate Trilogy for Solaris; the Deadbeatbooks for Titan and the Clown Serviceseries for Del Rey UK.

He has, as yet, not written far too many comics but he’s working on it: he’s written a number of strips for 2000 ADincluding a reinvention of Grant Morrison’s Ulysses Sweet: Maniac for Hire, scripted The Engine for Madefire and is the co-creator of Goldtiger with artist Jimmy Broxton.

A lifelong fan of Sherlock Holmes (once playing him, rather badly on stage) he has written two original novels, The Breath of God and The Army of Dr Moreau, as well as a couple of non-fiction books.

After a misspent adulthood pursuing a Music Education degree, Jamie Wyman (www.jamiewyman.com) fostered several interests before discovering that being an author means never having to get out of pajamas. She has an unhealthy addiction to chai, a passion for circus history, and a questionable hobby that involves putting a flaming torch into her mouth. When she’s not traipsing about with her imaginary friends, she lives in Phoenix with two hobbits and two cats. Jamie is proud to say she has a deeply disturbed following at her blog.

Jamie’s debut novel Wild Card (Entangled Edge, 2013) is available wherever ebooks are sold. You can also find her short story “The Clever One” in the anthology When The Hero Comes Home 2 (Dragon Moon Press, August 2013). Look for Unveiled, the follow-up to Wild Card, in November 2014. 

She is the author of A Scandal in Hobohemia in the new Two Hundred and Twenty-One Baker Streets anthology, out now from Abaddon Books!


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It all started one chilly morning while keeping Sarah Lotz company outside the Metropole Hotel in Brighton, while she sucked some nicotine into her lungs, during the World Fantasy Convention in 2013.

I was just an innocent bystander, watching others smoking and trying to pretend that I wasn’t freezing my arse off. I hadn’t seen Sarah in ages and wanted to catch up – she’s always a good laugh and probably one of my favourite writerly types, so she’s worth enduring a little cold weather for and at least I didn’t get frostbite. Bear in mind that I’m South African so anything under 20°C is considered cold and the weather that weekend in Brighton was well below that.

Somewhere along the line David Thomas Moore, the bearded, crazy, genius, joined the conversation. Sarah said something about my writing being twisted and that I was sick in the head. In any other circles that would probably be considered an insult, but not in the horror writing world. Someone saying that about you in the horror world is probably the greatest compliment a writer can get. I duly blushed. David had a strange evil glint in his eyes as he turned to me and asked if I’d be interested in writing a story for his Sherlock Holmes anthology. I thought he’d lost his mind or had a few too many pints at the bar. Who in their right mind would ask me to write a story about Holmes?

I think I may have had a few too many glasses of wine at the bar and said yes. Because, hey, I love Sherlock! I did, however, add a disclaimer and warned him that, as Sarah had pointed out, it was likely to be bit twisted. He seemed pleased by that idea, which left me wondering just how twisted was I allowed to be … I had a feeling he wouldn’t have a problem with my writing something as twisted as I could possibly get.

By the end of the convention I’d convinced myself that there wasn’t a snowballs chance in hell that I would ever hear from Mr Moore again, but a few months later there was an email in my inbox from David asking if I was still interested. I almost shat myself. I was now actually going to have to produce something that was worthy of Arthur Conan Doyle and Sherlock Holmes. I knew there was no point in trying to reproduce the original stories and plus that wasn’t what David wanted. I also realised that an editor wouldn’t ask a horror writer for a story unless he wanted a horror story, so that’s what I set out to do. I also wanted to have a bit of fun with it.

Pretoria is my home town and Mamalodi, the township, informal settlement, ghetto, or whatever you want to call it is only about a ten minute drive from my front door. It’s the type of setting that most people living in first world countries would find alien, but is common place anywhere in Africa and other developing countries. I wanted to put Sherlock and Watson outside of the readers comfort zone and away from the normal settings. Pretoria and Mamalodi are also not the typical settings you find in most South African novels. Most South African authors seem to set their books in Johannesburg or Cape Town or in more exotic locations, but I prefer to set my stories in places that I know well.
Mamalodi may not be as dangerous as some of the other informal settlements that they have in Johannesburg, but it has a character all of its own and makes for an interesting backdrop for Holmes and Watson and a muti murder.


I’m incredibly grateful for having had the chance to spend some time with Holmes and Watson and for working with David. It’s been one hell of a fun rollercoaster ride. I can’t wait to see what else David and the Abaddon team do next. 

***
Joan De La Haye(joandelahaye.com) writes horror and some very twisted thrillers. She invariably wakes up in the middle of the night, because she’s figured out yet another freaky way to mess with her already screwed up characters.

Joan is interested in some seriously weird stuff. That’s probably also one of the reasons she writes horror.

Her novels, Shadowsand Requiem in E Sharp, as well as her novella, Oasis, are published by Fox Spirit (foxspirit.co.uk).

You can find Joan on her website and follow her on Twitter @JoanDeLaHaye.

She is the author of The Rich Man's Hand  in the new Two Hundred and Twenty-One Baker Streets anthology, out now from Abaddon Books!


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